The number of divorces in BiH drastically increases from year to year, divorce and older than 70 years
Marriage is two people, institutions and the highest level that crowns the affair partner. A while ago represented something sacred, important for keeping the way of establishing the family as the basis unit of society, today it is understood too lightly.
The number of marriages in BiH decreases from year to year, while the number of divorces on the rise. The reasons are varied, but it all boils down to the fact that marriage and families no longer have first place in social values.
Data from the Agency for Statistics showed that the number of marriages from 2008 to 2012 has dropped drastically. Most marriages is precisely in 2008, if we look at the period from 2001 to 2012, close to 25,000, while the number in 2012 dropped to about 18,000. When it comes to divorce, the situation is reversed. At least the divorce was precisely in 2008, while the number of divorces in 2011 and 2012 was close to 2,000. Last year, that number increased to 2,609 divorces.
The family is no longer the most important thing in society
Municipal courts are overburdened with cases, especially divorce proceedings. The municipal court in Sarajevo is known to happen in one day and be up to 70 divorce. The most common reasons given in the divorce papers are different views on life, lack of mutual understanding, to feel no more love for your partner, emotional distance, adultery ... But what the 70 percent of cases destroys marriages in our country is the difficult economic situation. Spouses and families, often barely making ends meet, difficult to pay the bills, the loans are "to stifle" which creates daily friction, causing strife, leads to distrust and eventually divorce. As the old folk "When poverty knocks on the door, love goes out the window."
"A lot of things have changed in relation to the period before the war. Everywhere in the world and in B the last 20-plus years of marriage and its function and role of the family in society do not have the weight or place they had previously. The family is pushed to the margins of society and its role occupied another group company, the pursuit of wealth, consumer psychology and individualism that is postmodern passed and breaks the standards and rules that are valid until the earlier and according to them the marriage was very important, and families basic cell society.
Now all it takes to individuals, entities, and personality so that marriage is increasingly becoming as Giddens says social relationship. People are in a marriage and family until such time when it suits them, "said Prof. Dr. John Šiljković.
Poverty most frequent cause of divorce
Most often refers to material things and benefits that they have spouses. The moment when it's gone, the marriage is destroyed. The family is no longer above all because the career, the acquisition of wealth, race for money, political struggle and fight for his place pushed the most important thing at the bottom.
"There are other challenges, such as poverty, which creates conditions for people to quickly lose trust in one another. If you can not make your family standard conditions for life, then the spouses are going to continue, "he said Šiljković.
Divorcing and older
It is interesting that people divorce and age older than 70 years, and most of divorce at the age of 40-49 years. However, some of them are, before signing a document that sealed the fate of their marriage, they decide to visit and marriage counseling. The HP there KJU "Family Counseling" which offers counseling services for couples. We learn that each year the number of couples who decide to visit this counseling to save marriage increases and that the institution is no longer taboo, as it was earlier.
"Women and men who run the initiative is tied. Marital counseling are successful and effective if both partners want to solve problems and if you are involved in the consultation process. This implies a willingness to compromise partners and the long-term behavioral change, not only during the consultation process. The aim is during the consultation achieve solutions which establish the functionality of their relationship.
We wish to emphasize that the problem that the couple comes in counseling is not the key factor that determines the effectiveness and success of the therapy, but the level of motivation and willingness of partners to introduce changes in their relationship. The indicator of success is definitely the fact that our counselors and psychotherapists trained according to the standards of the European Association for Family Therapy ", said Professor. Senad Alic, director KJU "Family Counseling".
Ideal marriage does not exist, it is underway daily
The most common reasons why partners are coming bickering and arguing, exercising parental cooperation in the process of divorce, review mutual dilemma for the survival of marriage, family involvement in the marital relationship, pathological jealousy, imbalance of power in the partnership, extramarital relationships, sexual dysfunction, violence, disregard for individual need partners, lack of intimacy, etc.
Professor Alic states that the ideal marriage does not exist because each community is unique and specific. However, there are certain assumptions based on which to build functional marital relationship.
"The success of marriage involves a certain mental and psychosocial maturity, and a willingness to further develop common in marriage. Marriage is the development, process and work 24 hours a day.
Marriage can not be a state and inaction. It is a developmental task and job marital partners, which should be prepared and who should accept both spouses. In such a marriage remains because we want to, not because you must. This marriage attracts us with its quality for which the daily must fight both partners. It seems that only this marriage has a future and can survive in the present time, "said Alic.
To young people could maintain and nurture your relationship and to be able to prepare well for marriage need to be, Alic said, rid of some prejudices about marriage and the opposite sex, they can understand their own needs and the needs of the spouses and to have communication skills in marriage.
- 30 Nov, 2014
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